There are no “perfect moms”; only tough ones who admit #MujheSabNahiPata
American author Jill Churchill once said, “There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”
To raise a child, a mother must be brave, strong, and selfless enough to love others more than she loves herself. However, society sometimes seems to think that a mother is a perfectionist in everything she does, forgetting that she is human too. And just like everyone else, a mother can be unaware of many things and facts while raising her kids, despite her best efforts and intentions. Then why does society try to measure her “parenting perfectionism” by imposing such high expectations on her? Mothers bear the weight of these expectations and are under constant societal pressure to be perfect all the time. This needs to change.

All Out India recently hosted an event as part of their ongoing campaign #MujheSabNahiPata, which helps mothers acknowledge that it is okay to not always know everything about their child’s well-being. The event drew the attendance and participation of many renowned personalities including Sonali Bendre, whose recent life struggle has been an inspiration to many.

Mothers who attended the event shared their experiences of facing societal and family. I was deeply touched by the story of one of the moms, who had undergone severe mental trauma when her child was diagnosed with Dengue. Her family members had, at that time, questioned her concern, hygiene, and dedication towards the child. However, renowned paediatrician Dr Samir Dalwai, who was one of the panellists at the event, threw light on some interesting facts concerning the spread of this disease.

I learned that Dengue mosquitos don’t need an unhygienic environment to breed; they can breed even in the most hygienic of conditions. Hence, questioning a mothers’ sanitary measures in this matter is clearly unjustified. Parents, however, must be vigilant about their child’s daily activities (eating, sleeping, excretion), and the child’s play-time and energy levels. A drastic change in any of these could be indicative of Dengue. These symptoms should not be neglected, and medical help should be called for, immediately. Sometimes, however, the symptoms are subtle and might get overlooked. Dr Dalwai talks were an eye-opener, and I feel privileged to be able to share this information with all mommies.

The event also showcased a short film, which resonated with all moms. It says that, in a country that believes a mother should know it all, it takes a tough mom to say #MujheSabNahiPata. The film beautifully captures a gamut of emotions that a mother experiences owing to societal pressures when her child becomes ill. I felt better, accepting the fact that I don’t have to know everything, and I want all mothers to feel the same. Like we did at the event, you can also tie a knot at the end of your dupatta, scarf, or saree – a practice from olden times – as a reminder to share your #MujheSabNahiPata story with other moms.

Don’t be ashamed; your story could prepare a thousand others to be more vigilant. I look forward to hearing your stories in the comments section.

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